By Stuart Simons

There are a few things that grind my gears in life and disloyalty is one of them. But it goes a little deeper than that. Should loyalty be blind? Should we be loyal all the time or do our morals guide us when to be loyal and when not to be? 

I am a deeply loyal person. If I believe someone is on the right path and it goes against the tide, I will ride it out with them but is this loyalty or simply agreeing with a certain subject. 

I have recently encountered some hostility from a friend because in their view I did something wrong and was disloyal. Now, I didn’t go out of my way to do anything wrong to them personally or to be disloyal but that’s the conclusion that they came to. Now I wholeheartedly stand by this persons moral compass and defend them in every way because I know they stand up for what is right within my industry. But I also haven’t sold my soul to them and am open to opportunities that may become available to me without their involvement. This doesn’t mean I am disloyal to them, no one person decides life’s pathways just because of loyalty. Last time I checked, i’m not in any kind of cult group. That’s when it becomes blind loyalty. I don’t agree with their version of events and I have now been told, in no uncertain terms, we are no longer friends. So what does that say about their view of our friendship:? (You either agree with me and we can be friends or you don’t and we can’t) Seems a bit cutthroat to me but hey, we are all different and I can’t be held responsible for other people thoughts. I’m loyal but i’m not stupid.

Let’s take my business for an example. Groom Dog City Ltd is a long standing bespoke dog groomers in Central London offering high quality breed standard trims for its customers. We have regular clients from all over the UK and have grown incredibly fond of all of their dogs. In the course of a hair bearing dogs life, it should see a groomer on average every 6-8 weeks. so over the course of a year that’s about 8 times a year. Each dog will spend about 1 1/2 hours on the table for a medium standard groom. That’s a lot of bonding time over a dogs life. These appointments usually go without a hitch. Happy dog, happy groomer, happy customer. Sometimes life throws us a lemon and a dog may come in matted where he hasn’t been brushed and we have had to shave the dog short or a dog has moved at the wrong moment and been caught by our scissors. These things happen, we are humans and can make mistakes. But it still hurts when Fido, who you have been grooming 8 times a year and is now 7 years old (about 56 uneventful grooms) disappears from the books and seeks an alternative grooming salon because of that one experience. 

I do understand but its a bitter pill to swallow. If they had stayed, would it have been blind loyalty or would it have simply been a loyal act? In my view, I like to think that, as a dog owner,  I would understand and of course go back to the same groomer. One error can happen and the dog has formed a bond with the groomer over those years, I do think that if it was repeated, then things may be different. In my mind, that’s the difference between loyalty and blind loyalty. 

According to the CP Diary, Blind Loyalty is: 

‘Being dedicated to a person despite the damage that one person does to us or others’

There are so many examples, now I come to think of it, where our moral compass comes in to play when it comes to loyalty and there is no right or wrong answer. We all have our limits and all live by different rules. I find actually talking about it, not through email or text or social media but actually speaking about differences and loyalties, many a mountain can be climbed. Lots of times confrontations can be avoided simply by picking up the phone and having a chat about our views and disagreements. We may learn something. 

Being loyal doesn’t mean we always have to agree, to me, it simply means that friendship will endure, even through disagreements. 

Loyalty shouldn’t mean selling your soul and losing your sight.