Signs and Symbols

by Stuart Simons

When I was growing up I would spend a lot of time lost in my own thoughts, To this day I still do. My imagination is more vivid than any horror film ever made. I can imagine a worst case scenario in response to an innocent remark and equally can envisage a multi million pound lottery win when I see the notification in my emails that I have won a prize (it’s always a scratch card). That’s me, it’s who I am and it’s part of what makes me me. I was utterly spoilt as a child, not financially but with an abundance of love and laughter. My dad would groan Urrrrggggggghhhh at the top of his voice to indicate that he wanted a cup of tea from my mum (it was the 70’s/80’s), we all thought it was particularly hilarious, we wouldn’t now. We had a special answerphone message that played that was sung by the whole family (cringe). But above all my favourite thing me and my family used to do was to Cheer at the top of our voices when the Video recorder clicked round to 22.22.22. 

I left the family home at 19 and ventured off on my own. The memories of my childhood still very clear in my mind. Sadly my dad died at the ridiculously young age of 53. The laughter stopped suddenly for a while. My mind turned to searching for answers and I found them in the form of signs and symbols. 

Now I know that you probably think this is mumbo jumbo but I find it helps me. Stumbling across signs and symbols is something that created a certain peace within me. It isn’t something I had ever considered before and my noticing them wasn’t a result of anyone else mentioning them to me. They just happened and I just happened to notice. 

After my dad died, I found a 20p piece. I picked it up and popped it in my pocket and thought nothing of it. 100 meters later and there is another one. Over the next few weeks I think I found a good £3 in 20p pieces. It doesn’t seem much but fifteen 20p pieces out of nowhere is a bit odd. I have no idea why this happened and it has petered out since then but at the time I felt that it meant something. It was exactly what I needed to help me believe that my dad was watching over me. I suppose it’s a bit like a form of meditation or going to Church, a spiritual way to make your soul heal. 

Over the years a new habit formed that has never gone away. The number 22.22 is a constant in my life. I can glance at my phone and bang 22.22. It happens most days and I always take it as a sign to say my dad is sending love. I always say ‘Hi Dad’. Apparently these are called angel numbers….I like that idea. 

So what’s it all about? Do we all do this? Is it a coping mechanism? Or is there a higher reason and someone really is reaching out to reassure us in this massively hard to navigate world. 

Whatever it is, i’m grateful for it. It grounds me and reminds me of how much I was and am loved by my family. The history we have as a family and how it is only really applicable and special to us, our group, our team. My sister and I are still close and have this in common. We are very different in so many ways and can butt heads but I know that we have a special bond memory in common in the form of love from our family. 

I am lucky that, for me, the signs come from my family but they if you don’t have a close family, they could be from a friend or another, more distant relative, a dog or pet of some kind. For me it’s the reassurance they bring rather than where they come from and I think we would all do well to look out for the signs and symbols that life brings. 

Whenever it all feels too hard, someone will send you a sign. You just have to be open to seeing it. 

RIP My beautiful Molly